Your cup is empty, but it doesn’t have to be

By Vicki Bradley
Station Manager, WTXL

If you’re sitting in your office reading this, at your child’s sports practice or maybe waiting on the start of that monthly board meeting for a local nonprofit in town, this is for you.

Through the nonstop meetings, hustle to get to and from outings and all the commitments you have, you probably didn’t realize that your cup is empty. No, not that big water one you lug everywhere or your favorite coffee mug, but your metaphorical cup. The place you pour from each day as you give yourself to your family, your job and anyone who you feel needs you.

The thing about not refilling your cup is that it will get empty. Once it does, the work to replenish is sometimes more daunting than the tasks that led you there. Trust me — I know firsthand.

I’m currently overseeing a local news station in North Florida. It was not a journey I set out on when I started my career — but here we are. It all started when my station was chosen to lead a transformative initiative within our company to change how we do news. Was it one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my career? Absolutely. Was it worth the stress and some sleepless nights? Also, absolutely. Fast forward to six months later, and we kind of have this thing figured out.

That came with an opportunity for me to take on a greater role within my station — and I did. I’d been at this new role for a few months when I could tell my cup was starting to empty. I was struggling to find my joy in the role. I felt as if I was struggling to get things done that previously had not seemed so difficult. I also started to feel as if I wasn’t connecting with my team the way that I loved to, or they were used to. It was time to pay attention to what fills me back up.

Today, I’m better. I’ve found several things that have helped to refill my cup when it gets low (like writing this article). Writing this article reminded of the article that I wrote for RTDNA in 2020 when my news director job felt overwhelming during COVID. I realized that a lot of the things I wrote about then still apply today in this new world of mine. I’ve found them to be helpful in refilling my cup. So, I’m sharing again with a few new additions I’ve learned since then.

If you’re going to take time off, be off: I know, it’s hard. You’re thinking of all the things you should be doing. How your team will not make it without you chiming in on that email thread. But they will. You must trust the people you hired to do exactly what you hired them for. It’s not by accident that you’ve put them in those positions.

Delegate: While I know you think you’re the only one who can do it right, you’re wrong. Stop taking on those tasks your managers are more than capable of handling. Every project is not your project. Empower your team to take it on. Chances are you have someone on your team who is ready to step up and take on a new challenge. Let them.

Take a breather: Getting time to yourself might feel impossible. Especially as things are constantly changing in our industry. Take a few deep breaths when things feel overwhelming. Get some air. Take a walk around the parking lot. Take your cell phone with you. If people need to reach you, they’ll find you, believe me.

Give yourself a hard wrap: There will be times when you must pull 12- to 14-hour days, but those shouldn’t be all of your days. Come up with a hard-stop time and head for the door. Your family will thank you.

You don’t know everything and that’s OK: There have been many times when I had a question, and I didn’t want to ask someone because I didn’t want to look like the person who didn’t have all the answers. But guess what? I don’t, and you don’t either. Instead of putting yourself in a place where you’re trying to figure out things on your own, go to those people who are there to support you and lean on them!

It’s OK to speak up: If you feel like you are not getting the support you need or your team is not getting the support it needs, say something! It may not mean that circumstances will immediately change, but it could get the ball rolling in the right direction. If nothing else, it brings attention to an issue that maybe others haven’t thought about.

Don’t be too hard on yourself: It’s easy to beat ourselves up over the things on the to-do list that we didn’t get to. While we’d all love to, you’re not going to win all the days. But there will be some victories along the way. Learning to celebrate them is something my former General Manager Matt Brown use to encourage us to do. When you can start appreciating all that you have done, that mountain of things left starts to feel less scary.

Will doing these things instantly make you feel like everything is going to be OK? Probably not. But it is a good start if you are struggling.

Don’t just do them for you but think about your team and the leader you want to and need to be. Then do ALL the things to get you there — because you can’t pour from an empty cup.